Stanzel’s Sports Takeout — BREAKING NEWS: 9-11-23.

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The Twin Cities big three yesterday went oh and three.

Nice to see an American woman back on top of the tennis world. Bravo, Coco Gauff.

Another embarrassment for Michigan State, which placed suspended football coach Mel Tucker amid a harassment case. The woman he allegedly harassed? A prominent sexual assault awareness speaker the University hired to help tell students what not to do.

Vikings Not Good in Most Areas, Drop to 0-1

Hard to believe that a team could be rusty when its stars haven’t taken a meaningful snap in eight months.

Incredibly disappointing 20-17 Vikings loss to Tampa Bay for many reasons, not the least of which it seemed like one of their most winnable games of the season.

The Vikings need a lot of work - defense, offensive line, rushing game…you name it.

Unlike last year, where the Vikings bent just enough on many occasions but came up with a big play late, there was no big play. Minnesota didn’t lose a one-score game at all last season (11-0).

The offensive line was just putrid. And despite going into the playoffs last night with a non center playing center, the Vikings got caught again when their starting center went to the locker room with a chronic back issue in the first half. Kirk Cousins spent so much time on his back, he’s got elbow burn on that nice Kohl’s button down. Cousins became the first NFL QB since 2000 (!) to throw for 250 yards and turn the ball over three times in a half.

Dalvin Cook wouldn’t have done much in this game, but it’s clear Alexander Mattison is a significant step down from Cook. The Vikings attempted only 17 rushes, one of the reasons Cousins was under siege all day.

What’s especially concerning is the Vikings didn’t get a contract done before the first snap with superstar Justin Jefferson. Jefferson caught nine balls for 150 yards, will be a perennial MVP candidate (not easy for a wide receiver), but now there are questions about his long-term tenure here in Minnesota. He probably wants to know who’s throwing passes to him in 2024 and beyond.

Kevin O’Connell’s play calling was also suspect. The Vikings had a pair of fourth quarter drives and they both went three-and-out. His first down passes that don’t get past the line of scrimmage have to go.

And if I haven’t made your Monday enough, it’s a short week with a Week 2 visit to Philadelphia on Thursday (Amazon Prime broadcast). The Eagles beat the Patriots yesterday.

Oh, and the Packers are 1-0 with a blowout win in Chicago under Jordan Love…

Twins Waste Lopez’ Effort

They’re still going to make the playoffs, but you have to hope yesterday wasn’t a harbinger of October things to come.

The Twins wasted an eight-inning, 14-strikeout performance by Pablo Lopez, failing to score in a 2-0 loss to the Mets at Target Field.

Still, Minnesota is up seven on Cleveland with 19 games left - and no head to head meetings. The Twins open up a three-game set against Tampa tonight at Target Field. The Rays are a possible first-round playoff foe. Remember, the Twins will get all three games at home in a Wild Card round to open the playoffs, quite possibly against a team with a better record than them.

Gophers 2-0 After Beating Eastern Michigan

You realized earlier in the day that Nebraska’s effort didn’t at all flatter the Gophers, who were still just too good for Eastern Michigan. Minnesota pulled away in the second half Saturday for a 25-6 win to move to 2-0.

The Gophers, who have lost one non conference game ever in P.J. Fleck’s seven-year tenure, got back to their running game and outscored Eastern Michigan 15-0 in the second half. They ran 56 times for 296 yards, including 194 from Darius Taylor and 96 from Sean Tyler.

Things get real Saturday, when the Gophers play in Chapel Hill against the No. 20 Tar Heels. Expectations are high for North Carolina, despite sneaking by Appalachian State in double OT Saturday.

Lynx to Open Playoffs Wednesday at Connecticut

The Lynx limp into the post-season after losing a pair of decisions on the road over the weekend. They’re the sixth seed - still remarkable after an 0-6 start, but they’re facing a tough Connecticut Sun team in a three-game series.

The better team gets the first two games of the three-game series, so if the Lynx were able to get a split, they’d play Game 3 on home court.

Game 1 is Wednesday at Mohegan Sun, Game 2 is Sunday. Game 3, if necessary, would be at Target Center on Wednesday, Sept. 20. Three games in eight days? NBA like.

Loons’ Furious Rally Nets Last-Second Draw

If ever a draw felt like a win, it was the Loons’ 1-1 decision against a second-place New England team at Allianz Field on Saturday.

Facing a certain defeat, Franco Franapane scored with literally seconds left in extra time to give his team the point. You’ll even see the Loons goalie Dayne St. Clair in the opposing goal box with the primary assist on Fragapane’s goal.

The point kept the Loons in seventh in the West, but just four points out of second. Seven games left - next one at home against Sporting KC, a team currently out of the playoffs, on Saturday.

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Ryan Stanzel

Ryan Stanzel is a PR pro and freelance content creator based in the East Metro. Follow him on Twitter or e-mail him here.

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