Are Your Twenties Really for Moving?
Welcome to Twenty Something. This column- written by Caitlyn Garrity– explores the uncharted territory called your 20s. It’s funny, it’s witty, it’s honest.
Your twenties are for moving… or so they say.
A lot of people tell young college grads, “You should move around in your twenties, see new places, explore what you like!” And to be fair, that’s solid advice. In your twenties, you're often free from major responsibilities like raising a family, managing a long-term career, or running your own business.
But let’s be real: a lot of the people giving that advice also bought their homes in 1990 for $50,000. So here’s my take.
Moving sucks.
It’s not just the chore of packing boxes, apartment hunting, and hiring movers. It’s about uprooting your life. It’s leaving behind a community you’ve started building, routines you’ve grown comfortable with, and a version of yourself that’s finally settled into something stable. Moving to a new city or state, often where you know no one, means starting over. Finding new grocery stores, a new gym, new friends. It means dealing with homesickness, long nights wondering if you made a huge mistake, and feeling far, far away from everything familiar.
I should know.
I recently moved from Charleston to Pittsburgh. I thought it would be an easy transition, I already knew people there, and I was somewhat familiar with the city. But it’s been way harder than I expected. The truth is, when you live somewhere for a while, you grow into a version of yourself that fits that place. When you move, you rip that version out and try to replant it somewhere new, hoping it’ll take root again. It’s uncomfortable and while change grows from discomfort, it’s not something everyone can or wants to do during a period of already uncomfortable changes, much like your twenties!
I’m not saying this to discourage anyone from moving. If you’re in a place where you want to bounce around, explore new cities, or live in a different state every few years, go for it! I actually fully plan on trying other places before I choose a place to settle down for a while. But I’m also speaking to the people who wish they could move but haven’t. (Or even to those who don’t want to move and feel like they have to in order to do their twenties “properly”) The ones who feel like they’re missing out because they’ve stayed put.
Here’s the truth: Moving is expensive. And if you’re moving for the sake to move, it often means leaving behind a steady job, which, especially in today’s job market, is a big risk. Being on your own for the first time is already hard enough. If you’re feeling pressure to move just because you think you should, please hear this: it’s okay to stay where you are.
There is no shame in living in the same city you were born in, or staying in your college town. Moving is a luxury, not just financially, but emotionally too. I’m lucky to have access to good therapy, which has helped me process the emotional toll of uprooting my life multiple times and adjust. But not everyone is in a place, mentally or financially, to make a big move "just to see what’s out there."
Your life is long (hopefully), and the chance to try a new city will come, maybe not in your twenties, but eventually. And that’s okay.
I just finished watching The Office, and throughout its nine seasons, nine years, Pam and Jim stayed in Scranton. They didn’t move to Austin until they were married, had kids, and were finally in a place, financially, emotionally, and physically, where it made sense to go.
Just because you can do something doesn’t mean you have to.
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