If NAHL South Division Teams Were Fast Food Restaurants
The NAHL South Division, better known as the Dirty South, is like the SEC of junior hockey. Now why would I say that you may ask, well, let me tell you – it’s because the NAHL’s South Division is loud, chaotic, gritty, and everyone swears their team is the best. The NAHL is known for being a man’s league as a whole, and the South Division takes it to the next level.
But what if the South Division standings weren’t comprised of hockey teams at all, but instead fast food chains? These are precisely the type of questions Pulltab Sports dares to ask. So, buckle up, grab your napkins and sauce, and let's hit the Dirty South drive-thru!
Amarillo Wranglers – Chick-Fil-A
When facing Amarillo it’s always a clean game, the fans are polite, and it’s always a pleasure to have a matchup against the Wranglers. Just like the pickles atop a Chick-fil-A chicken sandwich, the Wranglers are predictable. The only downside to the comparison? Just like Chick-fil-A being closed Sundays, Amarillo usually doesn’t reach it’s full potential whenever playoffs come around, and tend to close up shop come April.
Corpus Christi IceRays – Dairy Queen
The Dairy Queen of the South, Corpus Christi is a Texas staple. Just like Dairy Queen, you might forget about them sometimes, but then you roll down the window, and start humming Beach Boys tunes as you tape your stick. What hits just like a DQ chicken basket? The IceRays’ fists in a line brawl! With Corpus’ unique beach setting and DQ’s endless blizzard flavors, they’re both always worth a stop.
El Paso Rhinos – Whataburger
If you’re from Texas, you know Whataburger is a point of pride, and to be defended at all costs. If you walk into a Whataburger past midnight, there’s always something going on, just like an El Paso Rhinos game. The Rhinos are loud, they’re proud, and their fans will battle to the death to support them. There’s just something so Texas about those Rhinos, you can almost taste the patty melt and honey butter biscuit.
Lone Star Brahmas – McDonald’s
The Brahmas are the classic of the South Division. So much so, at times they almost feel more like a corporation or LLC. You know what to expect from anything with “Mc” in front of it, and you always know what to expect when taking a trip to Lone Star – a competitive game and maybe a few wild chirps from the stands, just try to avoid any flying clipboards from the bench. Simply put, the Brahmas are lovin’ it!
New Mexico Ice Wolves – Blake’s Lotaburger
If you know you know, Blake’s is a New Mexico staple – everything wrapped in green chile and smothered with pride. The Ice Wolves are the same, with their one-of-a-kind rink, unrivaled player experience, and a fanbase that swears by them. Like Lotaburger, the Ice Wolves may be under the radar, but Albuquerque knows they’re the real deal. Turns out hockey served up in the middle of the desert tastes delicious.
Odessa Jackalopes – Taco Bell
You never know what to expect from Odessa, and you never know what to expect after a late night Taco Bell run. A game against the Odessa could be hard, clean, easy, dirty. Just like Taco Bell, the Jackalopes hit different every time. Sometimes it’s enjoyable, other times you don’t know how you got there or where you came from. But it always leaves an impression.
Oklahoma Warriors – Subway
They were everywhere, won a Robbie, and then they disappeared. And then they came back across the street. Oklahoma has had its ups and downs, similar to Subway. The Warriors made a mark with a Robertson Cup win then kind of faded away. But like Subway, they’re rebuilding and might surprise you with a stacked lineup when least expected. And say what you will, the bread does smell good.
Shreveport Mudbugs – Popeyes
The Mudbugs embody the cajun spirit. They’re always feisty and are active on the socials. They have a lot in common with Popeyes. Mudbugs fans are loud, a little spicy on the internet. When Shreveport is clicking, they can run through the division just like the Popeye’s chicken sandwiches flew off the shelf when first dropped.
No matter what drive-thru you pull up to in the South Division, you’re sure to leave full, entertained, and wanting to come back for more. Just remember to pack your swim suit, and a couple Band-Aids! Check out a Dirty South game for yourself and you won’t disagree.
Author: Francesca Cicconetti
NETWORK PARTNERS
