A Hard Truth on “FOMO”
Welcome to Twenty Something. This column- written by Caitlyn Garrity– explores the uncharted territory called your 20s. It’s funny, it’s witty, it’s honest.
I have learned a hard truth over the past few months, nearly two years post-grad. That truth being that if you’re trying to find peace and happiness after college, especially in 2025, you have to ditch the FOMO (and the scrolling).
I’m sure we’ve all heard the saying, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Well, whether you mean to or not, social media and doom scrolling often leave us comparing our lives to those of others.
Since working in marketing and social media, I thought I was immune to the influences of sponsored posts and videos of people’s “day in the life.” Scrolling on social media has been marketed as a way to unwind, relax, and learn new things, which is how I always thought I was using it. So why did I never feel energized, inspired, or happy after an hour (or two…)?
I can’t speak for everyone, but I think I have a little secret as to why some of us feel the compulsive need to scroll and spend our leisure time on social media. It’s our innate need to be “in the know” at all times.
My phone is always with me. It doesn’t matter if I am using the restroom, cooking, doing my makeup, hell, even working–my phone never leaves my side. I can say with almost complete confidence that anyone reading has hardly ever left their house without it. Our phone is an extension of us, and I feel that this connection is correlated with the increased accessibility to people. While that is an excellent consequence of social media (and phones in general), being always available and always connected can sometimes unintentionally and subconsciously make us feel the need never to miss out.
There is an overwhelming amount of content online. Some good and most others bad. I’ve realized that due to the constant movement of social media, the rapid spread of new information, and its platform being accessible to everyone, when I’m not engaging with social media, I feel out of the loop. I think I'm more stressed about not checking my phone than about checking it, because I’m constantly wondering what news I'm missing, what influencer is getting engaged, what new product is out there, who has texted me, who has posted a story, and really, the worries go on.
It all boils down to FOMO: the fear of missing out. I’ve realized that my addiction to social media isn’t because the platform is itself addictive, but because if I’m not scrolling, I’m “missing out.”
If all of what I just said resonates with you, just know you’re not alone. Social media, although an incredible tool for connection, has almost become a real place. Instead of being an online forum to be used sparingly, it’s become a nearly physical space that we spend a massive chunk of our time on… and for what?
I probably sound like a mom when I say this, but think about the things you could do, see or people you could meet if you weren’t on social media. Social media creates FOMO when we aren’t on it, because we’ve all been conditioned to think that our lives are lived there. Despite it being a beneficial way to learn new things to do, recipes to cook, and creative ideas to implement in our “real” life, social media boils down to being just an app on our phone that can go away at any time. Does any of us remember that one fateful day in January…
I invite you to think about a hypothetical. If you were to remove social media, how would your life change? Would you feel less stressed about the need for a higher salary, more “time,” more things, more fabulous clothes, richer parents, and the list goes on? Would you take up new hobbies, free up time that you’ve seemed to lose, feel less pressure to be at a particular stage in life, or compare yourself to others less?
As you reflect on the questions I’ve posed, allow me to share my own experience. Over the past month, I’ve significantly reduced my time on social media without completely cutting it out, and I’ve allowed myself to “miss out.” Since making this change, I’ve found that I care less about what others are doing and more about how I want my days and life to feel.
Rather than instinctively reaching for my phone, I now connect with people more intentionally. I’ll call or text a friend without rushing the interaction, or I’ll read a bit of news to stay informed without getting overwhelmed. At work, I’m more focused and productive, which leaves me feeling accomplished and proud of myself.
My sleep has also improved. I no longer dread the alarm after spending hours on a blue screen the night before. I’m sticking to my workouts and taking my time with them, because where else do I need to be? Even when I watch TV, I do it with intention, not skipping scenes just to maximize screen time.
And finally, I’m reading more. I’m realizing that books can be just as entertaining as short videos when I’m not chasing constant dopamine hits.
Everything I just said sounds f***ing annoying, like okay, we get it, you can stay off your phone. But I’m telling you this as someone who has experienced depression-like phases due to feeling lost and purposeless, social media is not where life is lived, and is making us (especially young people) lose the concept of real life.
Take your power back from social media. Remember, there can be no FOMO if you’re not actually missing out.
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